the epilogue:


These are my diaries, my way of getting over the distance that had started as an slow emotional separation to a full blown physical one between you and I. I vowed that I would never forget you, and I don't know about you, but I intend on keeping that promise. Although this is probably not a good idea (not to mention it seems obsessive and bizarre), I am going to write until I am all written out. Maybe I will show it to you one day when I am ready. Maybe.


This is our story.
July 4

i love him…

i remember the look in your eyes when i told you i had a boyfriend. “you have a boyfriend?” you said incredulously, your mouth twisting ever so slightly because you couldn’t hide your disgust and confusion and annoyance. to this day, i wonder if it would’ve been any different had i not had a boyfriend. my boyfriend had the annoying tendency to cling to me and call me too much and bring me down too often and i didn’t understand why i was dealing with him when i could have you. but by then, it was too late and i’d broken up with him (partially for you) and then i lost you both. i’d lost you both.