the epilogue:


These are my diaries, my way of getting over the distance that had started as an slow emotional separation to a full blown physical one between you and I. I vowed that I would never forget you, and I don't know about you, but I intend on keeping that promise. Although this is probably not a good idea (not to mention it seems obsessive and bizarre), I am going to write until I am all written out. Maybe I will show it to you one day when I am ready. Maybe.


This is our story.
July 2

i love him…


i remember the day when we first met, when we really met. we were merely freshmen, completely new to high school (and myself being confused in this foreign setting of a connecticut private preparatory boarding school). however, with our being eager and friendly, we sought each other out quickly.

i snuck onto a bus going to hartford without permission the day i met you, sneaking onto it for a language class that i wasn’t even in. there was a chinese festival celebration in the city and i decided to go explore. naturally. we became acquainted on the bus; you wore my favorite green scarf like a turban and we took pictures as we smiled out of the pure joy brought by being in one anothers’ company. once we were in hartford, you and i hung out and we bonded over silly songs, livid complaints, and smiling confessions. i would notice your adorable birthmark, which was awkwardly placed under your lip - one of the many things about you that i would come to love. i remember taking a picture with hanh, a new junior vietnamese girl in our school who we described as impossibly adorable, as we kissed her on her cheeks.

i remember playing with chinese toys and getting food together. i remember getting matching bracelets with certain colored beads, each representing a specific virtue or something of that sort. they both broke. 

i remember sneaking away because we thought that the festival was lame. we went to stores in hartford and i remember being perplexed by your sense of style. you told me you were from philly as we walked to get something to eat. we took a picture of our shadows on the asphalt. my love, you were fascinating.

i remember telling you how amazing i was at guitar hero and your begging me to play. i asked you, “and what do i get if i win?” you replied, “a kiss.” i thought i hadn’t heard right, but when i asked you to repeat yourself, you simply said “oh, nothing.” you said that a lot. i kept insisting long after this day was over; “when will i get my prize?” you would always smile and say “don’t worry; it’ll come when you least expect it.”

i remember it all.